A Luxury Sedan That Sucks At Luxury

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Maserati Ghibli: A highly expensive new luxury sedan that offers roughly the same level of actual luxury as a floor lamp. Today we’ll be discussing this “fail” of car whose release was way too hyped up for no good reason, really. For all you car fanatics out there, we’re sorry if you have a soft spot for Maserati, but we’re just giving you an honest review. Read further for the Maserati Ghibli review, and for a little chuckle. 

 

Maserati Ghibli

 

Yes, it is true. Over the course of this article we will be saying a few mean things about the Maserati Ghibli. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this piece of engineering, Ghibli is pronounced “GEE-BLEE.” For conversation’s sake, its nickname shall also be known as “Gibbles and Bits.” We have warned you already: If you are a die-hard Maserati fan, we suggest you get out now, or at least begin a thread about us on the Maserati forums. Say what you will, but we are simply offering you a service: Protecting you from this disaster of a car that will carve out your bank account! 

Let us begin in a place where the Maserati designers and engineers clearly did not: the car’s equipment levels. We devoted a considerable amount of time researching this issue and we’ve come to the conclusion that Maserati equipped this car in the following way: Firstly, they carefully examined each and every rival, and saw what their competitors were offering clients. And then, they didn’t include any of that stuff. 

For example, let us turn to its safety features. We will turn to the BMW 5-Series for comparison. The BMW 5-Series is dramatically better than the Ghibli even though it went on sale five years ago. For cars, that is nearly a century ago. These two cars are rivals in the very same way in which Ethan Allen is a rival to the furniture aisle at Wal-Mart. 

For those of you who are a little lost, let us make it a little clearer to understand: even though the 5-Series is one of the oldest cars in this segment, it still has everything. It features a parking camera giving the driver a top-down view of the car and a look at the sides, too. It has forward collision alert with automatic braking. It also has a blind spot monitor and full-colour heads-up display. It also comes with a lane departure warning system, automated parallel parking assist, and nigh vision, for Pete’s sake! 

Now we get to the star of this show, the Ghibli. Do you know what tops the Ghibli’s list of safety features and tricks? One backup camera. Yup, folks, that’s right: the 5-year-old BMW 5-Series is cruising around with the kind of technology they have on nuclear submarines, and the most impressive feature in the “newly released” Maserati is something that the federal government is already mandating in two years. 

BMW 5-Series   Maserati Ghibli

But, perhaps safety gear isn’t quite your thing. Perhaps you are more the type of person who is interested in gadgets, technology, cool features you can show off to your friends. But let us be honest with you, the only impression you’ll be giving off when riding in this car with your friends, is them asking you why you didn’t just buy a Prius instead! 

Maserati Ghibli Interior

We’ve decided to see just exactly how the Maserati Ghibli ranks up against the Mercedes-Benz E-Class – another midsize luxury sedan rival that’s even older than the BMW 5-Series. 

Here it goes, 

Massaging Seats?

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: The passenger can reach across and poke you. 

Panoramic Sunroof?

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: You can just stick your head out the normal sunroof for a panoramic effect, duh!

Lane Keeping Assistant?

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: It has a steering wheel. 

Adaptive Cruise Control? 

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: You can easily “adapt” by smashing the car in front of you. 

Carbon Ceramic Brakes? 

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: ”Watch out!!!!”

Power Trunk Lid?

E-Class: YES

Ghibli: Yes, if the trunk is open and the wind blows very hard

 

So, basically we could go on for hours like this, but we’ll spare you the bible of comparisons. We think we’ve made our point pretty clear here. If we were to get into the real nitty gritty stuff, it would go along the lines of something like this: BMW offers a hybrid, a diesel, a 4-cylinder, a regular V8, and a high-performance V8, while the Maserati is saddled with merely two engine options: a turbocharged 3.0-litre V6, and a only a minutely more powerful version of that same turbocharged 3.0-litre V6. 

So, yes, we could go on all day like this, but we aren’t really in the mood to embarrass the good people at Maserati North America who are as we speak trying to see if they can offer the Ghibli in July for $299 per month and nothing lower than that. 

Let’s get down to brass tax, though. Speaking of deals, here is the Ghibli’s biggest problem: it isn’t one. Just consider this for a moment: a base-level 5-Series begins at around $51,000 inclusive of shipping. Similarly, the Mercedes Benz E-Class starts at $53,500 including destination. So what does this fancy Ghibli cost? 

Well, the Maserti Ghibli, with its tiny dealer network and its unproven reliability, a hopeful newcomer in a highly competitive segment, with far less features and equipment than its rivals, comes down to a very annoying sum. That’s right; it will cost you a dear $71,000 with destination. Say what? Now they’re just plain teasing us. 

For that kind of money spent, you get a 345-horsepower V6, rear-wheel-drive, and optional column shift paddles. It simply isn’t worth it. You’re paying for the brand name more than anything else. 

From experience, we’ve all known that the Italians don’t quite offer the very best value on the market, but everybody just seems to ignore it for some odd reason. Just to put it into perspective for you here: The Ferrari F430 didn’t even come with side airbags. On top of that, the old Quattroporte had a navigation system that was just about as successful as asking for directions from an old blind Italian woman who doesn’t speak a word of English. In fact, she might even have been the lead engineer on the project.

Old Italian Lady

But here’s the thing: this time around, we simply can’t ignore the Maserati’s flaws. Maserati wants to be “one of the guys” in the luxury car world; one of the main players; the top choice, rather than some fringe brand considered by people who let their estates worry about the depreciation. 

We’ve come to the final crux of the review: Have they succeeded? Have they created a world-class luxury car at a competitive price? With competitive equipment? And a competitive dealer network? That would be....no, no, no, and no. What Maserati have done with this luxury sedan is given us a nice $40,000 car with a $30,000 badge on front. And you most definitely don’t need BMW’s Night Vision to see that. 

So our advice after your massive lottery win online is to stay far away from this car and the hype it’s trying to create. Rather spend your money on a fancy refrigerator that can tell you the weather, be connected to the internet, and tell you at what temperature you should be storing you eggs. 

Fancy Fridge

 

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Comments

Posted by NAgaZ8l (1/07/2015)

Lol I have to agree with this article though** Maserati in general is like the forgotten distant cousin of the Porsche and Lambo**


Posted by Julian (2/07/2015)

I will like Mercedes-Benz E-Class its very good


Posted by Amos (4/07/2015)

E-Classs is flawless thought the bmw series seven is on another level


Posted by Sonu (1/09/2015)

luxury


Posted by Leyla (1/09/2016)

I will like Maserati its very good


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